Monday, November 28, 2011

Habit a Week 8: Love Yourself

This week's challenge is very interesting, but before that, a recap and some resolutions:
  • #1: Fix Your Water Intake - Still 12 cups of water (at least) for each day this week, but because of some health concerns, I am planning to up my water intake this coming week.
  • #2: Move! - This week has a been a great week for me as far as movements are concerned; I might not be able to do everything I wanted, but every day, I was able to move - either by walking, or doing my Hip Hop Abs routines, or both.
  • #3: Eat a Veggie - I didn't eat beef and pork this week, so I relied mostly on veggies and fish for this week. Happy to have survived it.
  • #4: Increase the Fiber - I still have concerns about my bowel movement; high-fiber diet seem to cause me constipation (which was weird because we know fiber help us poop more), so this coming week, I will try to combine a good intake of fiber and water. Hope it works.
  • #5: Slow Down - This is not a problem for me anymore, thank heavens!
  • #6: Eat Healthy Fats - Olive oil, lite margarine, and soya oil. I think I am doing good with this.
  • #7: Watch Your Portions - I successfully followed my goal of eating 1/2 cup of rice as well as not go beyond 100g of protein for each meal, so I guess this habit has been firmly cemented. :)

Sexy on Board

Like I said, this week is one interesting week for Lyn's Habit-a-Week Challenge because it talks about Loving Oneself. For nearly two months now, I have been taking good care of myself - by eating right and exercising, but I admit loving myself is a work in progress. Sure, I love myself... which is why I am doing this, but there are times I do get insecure and I get upset or puzzled over some things I don't have.

For example, I don't get it why a woman (whose picture I saw online) who's 20lbs heavier than I am and whose waistline is 44 inches looks more stunning than I am. I told about this over the blue board - that if I put a picture of that woman and my picture (wearing underwear) side by side, and ask random people "who's sexier," people will surely pick the other woman over me. I guess one big factor is my tummy - how it look quite hideous being separated by my waistline as my upper and lower tummy looked like two lifesavers on top of each other. I don't get it why even if I have lost over 10lbs total, it still doesn't show that I lost weight. Yes, it's because my tummy is still big.

I also hate it that my upper arms are way too big - and that I now got flabby arms because of the weight I lost. I remember many years ago, when I once hoped to lose weight, my brother told me, "Don't aim to lose weight anymore, because when you do, you'd have a lot of loose skin that would make you uglier." Hmmm... uglier? Means I am already ugly from the get go? Hahahaha. Anyway, I shared this concern over Pipoy and he told me, "Just continue doing what you're doing. You're still young, you can still firm up and tone up. The important thing is, you reached your goal weight." That was a statement that has kept me hanging on.

Part of me don't understand some "Before and After transformations"- where one woman over 300lbs down to 170lbs looks stunningly beautiful - no flabs no loose skin, yet here I am, who lost a small amount of weight looks flabby and loose. I really think I should enroll myself in the gym so I can have access to machines to help me tone up. Oh money... where are you?

Still, even with flabby arms, thighs and divided tummy, I love myself. I may complain and compare...but I guess that's human nature because we cannot see our physical self the way we can see other people. Seeing myself naked in front of the mirror, seeing signs that I lost weight makes me feel happy. I admire myself for enduring the pain of doing exercises, because I know doing all of these will only benefit myself. This is my body, my welfare, my future... and the choices I make is all for myself. Whether I'd end up with loose skin the future, I know I am strong enough to face it and do something about it.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving (which was already over, I know...), allow me to share why I am thankful for myself:
  • I am thankful that even if my legs look like a tree trunk, even if it looks gross because of my scars and cellulite, I was able to go places - even enduring a 700+ steps to the top of Mt. Tapyas in Palawan and a grueling 10kilometer hike to the crater of Mt. Pinatubo.
  • I am thankful that even if my arms are flabby and that they're so big they are the same size as some skinny woman's thighs, I can still wear sleeveless shirts.
  • I am thankful that even if my nose is flat, I can still smell the fresh scent of morning as well as the food I cook and eat.
  • I am thankful that even if my tummy is big, I can still buy jeans and shorts at a Ready-to-Wear store.
  • I am thankful that even if I am this big, I still wasn't hospitalized for any reason.
  • I am thankful that even if I have PCOS, I was able to lose this weight.
  • I am thankful that even if my I have limp, lifeless, thin, and falling hair, I can still comb and style it.
  • I am thankful that even if I am 200+lbs (not for long, I tell you), there is someone out there who loves me and accepts me for who I am.
I am worth it.

This week's challenge is to set aside an ample time each day for oneself. My plans? Well, on a daily basis, I will make sure I give myself proper pampering: using good smelling bath gels or soaps, massaging as well as washing my legs and feet before sleeping, and a few seconds of being narcissistic: combing my hair, powdering my face, smile at myself, and say 'I love you' in front of the mirror. Once or twice a week, I'd give myself a manicure.

In the future, I'd like to do some things I haven't done yet: massage, a foot spa, a facial. I also now plan to go to the dentist to have some teeth cleaning and have a new pair of eyeglasses because the last time I visited the optometrist was in 2008. My eyeglasses may not be accurate now - it needs to retire.

They say our bodies are our temples. As much as I do many things to make sure my inner self is healthy and beautiful, I am also in the journey to make my outer self as much beautiful.

I am beautiful.
If others don't agree, that's not my problem anymore.

No comments:

Post a Comment

We are grateful to have you here.