Flipping though old photo albums not only takes me on a nostalgic trip, it also reminds me of the past hurts from all the bullying I had to endure as I grew up. Sure I looked thin in the picture above, but for a 13 year old tween who's about to finish her first year in high school, having a 30-inch waistline was something that made me feel abnormal as most of my classmates were confident enough to flaunt their weight and measurements.
I take the blame for all the hatred I felt. I was coward enough not to fight against the bullying by making myself better; instead I let people throw mud pies on my face and I let myself eat and sloth my way to more self hatred and dissatisfaction.
I grew up with a loving family and friends who accepted me the way I am. While I have learned to embrace my life as is with a few reminders that I had to lose weight, I admit I never really exerted an effort to make myself better...
...until my dad died. He was a man who lived healthy. He exercised everyday and ate vegetables most days of the week. Bad genes got him, though - a few months after we found out one of his arteries was clogged, he had a heart attack that caused his death. One of my aunts (his sister) said our family has a very bad medical history (as diabetes also runs in our family) and told me with my size and the way I eat and the way I live as a couch potato, it wouldn't surprise her if I'd have the disease before my 40th birthday.
A few months after my dad died, I had a bad night (thought I'd have a heart attack, but didn't thankfully). At that time I knew I had to do something, but after a few weeks, I went back to my old habits. Between 2007 and 2011, I have tried entering a journey to weight loss and called it off a few weeks after. While I lost 4lbs in one month, I'd gain back more than I lost, which made it more difficult for me to lose weight. Thankfully, I still am disease-free, though my cholesterol is a bit high.
July 2011 was my biggest wake up call. Seeing this picture of me made me cry and asked myself what I did to myself. I knew then I have to do something or else I might not enjoy life the way I wanted it to be.
August that year, I started walking every morning and lessened my food intake. A trip to Cebu and Bohol put my diet and exercise on hold and made me lose track of my progress until my mom bought me a weighing scale mid-September which revealed I went back to my old weight of 226lbs. I told myself then I won't allow myself to go heavier than that, so at the start of October 2011, I motivated myself to wake up early every morning to walk and do video workouts (Hip Hop Abs mainly). As for the food intake, I started with 1 cup of rice per meal down to 2/3 cups... 1/3 cup... until I was able to satisfy my tummy with just 1/2 cup of rice and about 75g of fish and seafood or 50g of meat per meal. I upped my water intake, said no-no to juices, iced tea and fizzy drinks.
The combination of exercise and lessened food intake did give me stunning results, with 13lbs lost in one of the months. Of course, it wasn't all bright and shiny, as I learned that I couldn't eat a lot of fibrous food as it made me constipated, which meant I couldn't include oatmeal in my diet, though I did eat whole wheat cereal every now and then.
Me in August 2011 (220lbs).
Seeing the weight go down made me happy as I could then wear old clothes, which I planned to dispose before because I couldn't fit in them anymore. I was also able to shop for clothes with ease (I now wear L - XL, whereas before XXXL blouses won't even fit me good), and riding the jeep, bus, and tricycle wasn't so humiliating anymore. Biggest reward I received was the compliment given by friends and neighbors - others (whom I don't know personally) would even talk to me to ask for my secrets. Recalling these moments in my life made me feel part of the world - that I am now normal and some people would even call me an inspiration.
Me today (200lbs).
I did slip off track - life got in the way and I ate more than the usual and I didn't get to exercise that much anymore, but I am still holding on to my promise not to be above 200lbs. That's my current weight, 26lbs lighter than I used to be.
I may be a little lighter, but now I realize, there is more than just losing the weight. With my size, I find it more difficult to wear smaller clothes because my skin became saggy - especially on my arms, tummy, and inner thighs. Stretch marks and cellulite also became more visible. Now I think, the weight isn't really the problem, but how the body looks. Just recently, Vogue Italia came up with their first plus size cover model, and learning she's wearing size 14 clothes just made me green with envy. I am currently wearing size 16, sometimes size 14 clothes, and yet I don't have the body to flaunt.
A few months ago, Raymond Gutierrez revealed his new body. He looked better than before and I also wished I go through the same process as he did - via Sexy Solutions.
I am in for the natural way of losing weight - through diet and exercise, but that doesn't mean I go against the people who seek medical help to lose weight and tone their bodies. Every person who has had weight problems, what is seen by the eyes doesn't tell the whole story. There is something deeper that gives one satisfaction, and if I could have it my way, I'd surely seek medical help to tone my saggy arms, tummy, and inner thighs.
Sexy Solutions (www.sexysolutions.com.ph) is a non-invasive fat reduction clinic that has machines that can (1) melt fat in stubborn places, (2) tighten loose skin and (3) tone muscle. Sexy Solutions also has in-house consultants that can help you with your nutrition and fitness regimen. A concern that you might have after your diet is: “The diet worked but I was weak the whole day so I don’t think it was healthy for me to do and it was certainly not sustainable. Perhaps, Sexy Solution’s nutritionist can point me towards a healthy way of losing weight.”My target weight is 150lbs. More than the health benefits I could earn from losing weight, I am now also listing being confident in my own skin as part of my goals. As long as I keep motivating and pushing myself, I know I will reach my goals.