Week One - Goals, Challenges, Plans

Yesterday (Saturday, 2 Feb), I went to Dapitan Arcade and Divisoria with mom and sister. Sister was asked to find a little utensils tray for the restaurant where she's working at, and seeing it was a good reason for me to walk around, I invited myself to join her. At first mom didn't want to come with us, but she wanted us to check out some red curtains (for VDay) and thinking we might buy something that wouldn't pass her standards, she decided to come with us.

The leg exercises I did last Friday had an impact on my legs, which made walking difficult, but of course I embraced it. Walking non-stop allowed me to move and move, and it did help, too, that we chose to sit at the second floor area of Jollibee when we ate lunch and dinner, which made me take the stairs for added pressure.

Food wasn't good, but it was my choice. For lunch, I chose to eat spaghetti, chickenjoy and a serving of rice with big cup of Coke because I didn't enough for breakfast and I felt so famished after roaming around Dapitan Arcade. For dinner, I had palabok and chickenjoy and coffee float, but after eating early dinner before leaving Divisoria, I didn't eat anymore. I might have eaten a lot, but I considered it as my last binge. :)

Biggest challenge for me this week is to take on the habit to eat fruits. Eating veggies isn't a problem for me (except if it's okra), but eating fruits wasn't something I always do. Well, papaya is a staple for me, but the other types of fruits, I just let them rot in the fruit basket. This week, I plan to eat Fitnesse Cereal (30g + 125ml milk) and fruits for breakfast. No coffee and softdrinks this week... my main drink is going to be water with lemon slices. I will try to drink 15 cups per day, but 12 cups will be okay.

There are no lined up events for me this week other than my cousin Marge's wedding this weekend, so no fast food and eating out for me. I am not sure what will be served on the wedding reception, but I will allow myself to drink juice and / or softdrinks, as well as eat cake, as long as it's in moderation. If I do receive an invitation for an event, I will attend and eat the food served, but I will watch the portion and will concentrate on eating the healthy food. I will also make sure I eat vegetables everyday, and go back to the old eating scheme - 1/2 cup of rice / 70g max on meat / 100g fish and seafood per meal. I will also strictly log every food I eat and the time I ate them.

Fitness, I will walk and jog in the morning, do Hip Hop Abs Cardio and AbSculpt, and because it's going to be a Monday, it's going to be arms and shoulders day, and I will do 8 minute arms and the arm workouts on the book I purchased. I will be using the pair of 2lb dumbbells this month.

I will weigh myself on Sunday, and I am aiming to lose 2lbs. Crossing fingers.

I'm Ready!

Hello, hello!

Today is the last day of January and it meant I wasted a whole full month again. I won't mind the negative stuff for now, and be thankful that tomorrow's a new month, a time to start yet again. It now sounds funny that I always start again...but I am giving myself some credit for still hanging on, for still wanting to try again, for not completely giving up. I know, it will be difficult to start again, but I don't want to have any regrets again.

Goals are still the same - lose 5lbs by the end of the month and strictly follow the schedules, but of course, given some circumstances, I know I can't do everything as I have to do other things, too. I plan to devote Mondays and Thursdays for toning the arms (means I will use the dumbbells), tone the legs and buns every Tuesdays and Fridays, and on Wednesdays and Saturdays, I will work on my back area. Time management will be the most difficult to do as I work, blog, and watch a movie a day, too, but I am already making a schedule that would allow me to do everything I need to do.

Tomorrow's Friday, meaning it's Legs and Buns day.  I will start the day doing a morning walk and jog at Colinas Verdes, do Hip Hop Abs, 8 Minute Legs workout (which I saw on YouTube), and the exercise I share here sometime back.

As for the diet, no drastic change, but I will continue eating fish and vegetables for now as I still don't feel like eating beef and pork after attending the events last weekend. I feel thankful that guests were served a whole lot of meat dishes during the wedding and the baptism receptions that I got tired eating meat dishes. I ate Hawaiian Pizza last Tuesday, but I immediately threw it up because my tummy can't seem to handle it. No matter how I tried not to throw it up, I can't control my body. I see that as a positive thing - because I don't have to force myself to eat healthy, my body is craving for healthy food. Since I got home, I am always eating fish and veggies, and I am eating less rice, too. I don't know what my weight is, I will find out tomorrow.

So yes, I am ready! No need to beg February to be nice to me... I will make sure I make this month count.

Before I sign out, let me just share this:


Very nice, eh?

My mom came home today with a copy of Becky Crocker "Cookbook for Women," and although most of the recipes  I can't cook because ingredients aren't readily available here in the Philippines, but what I liked about are the pages devoted to healthy eating and healthy living. I will read the pages before I sleep tonight, and try to share it here. Thank you mom, for buying this one.

See you all tomorrow!

Enough Already!

The last quarter of 2012 was quite a low time for me. The feeling of losing Mr. Pipoy in my life finally sunk in and I found myself feeling empty, lonely, and lost. Yeah I know, people would say, "So what? He's just a man..." and I do agree to some extent, but it's not actually the man that I am missing, it's the memories we've shared together.

I thought I'd welcome the new year feeling refreshed, ready to face the challenges of losing weight, getting back into the routine, living the life I long to live. I did have a few attempts, I'd go walking and jogging at times... I'd mind the food intake in some occasions, but most of the time I'd drown myself in reading books and watching TV.

Cutting the story short - I gained more weight and is currently between 214 and 216. First week of January, my weight spiked to 218 (which made me sulk in the room the whole day), but lessening the food intake made me lose a little. Still, I know I have to get back into the hang of things...not for anybody, but for me.


Last week (21 January), I went out with my family to celebrate my parents' wedding anniversary (even if dad's no longer around to celebrate it). It was my first time in a long time to wear sleeveless outside, and I wasn't at all impressed at how I look like. In my head, I should never feel ashamed... drilling into my head that I should be thankful I have arms, but, if you have lost weight in the past and gained back more than half of it, the feeling will wear you down. Losing weight is such a difficult thing to do, and now, I am letting all the hard work go to waste (and waist, too).


Obviously, I didn't wear a dress during my cousin's wedding last weekend (26 January). I just couldn't take the courage to show off my big arms and big tummy bulges, knowing I'd have pictures taken with my family having slim figures (my siblings and I are the biggest ones in the family). I did swallow my pride and decided to wear a rather short skirt, showing my big legs full of scars... I don't know if anyone whispered bad words about me, but I somehow, allowing myself to wear the skirt (when I can always wear a pair of leggings) was the only pride left I have. :)


As part of my "A Movie a Day Project," I got to watch this Korean movie called "200 Pounds Beauty" (you can click the play button and watch the full movie). It's a story of a fat woman who had a full body makeover in order to be accepted. Some things she did I don't agree with, but as with anyone having problems, we do make our own choices to give solutions to our problems. I did learn a lot from this movie, but one of my most memorable scenes was the that one when Hanna overheard her boss (who is her crush) talking to another woman about her, which made her decide to go to the doctor for a makeover (22:46 - 28:10). The doctor telling her, "You could die from all these..." to which Hanna answered, "I died yesterday," was something that made a lot of impact on me.

I died yesterday.

Some things in life are bound to happen and it's how we react to those things that makes us who we are now. I am missing the memories I shared with Mr. Pipoy, but it's over now, and I have to move on. I am already tired feeling lost and alone, I am already tired feeling jealous of people losing successfully losing weight, I am already tired of hurting and punishing myself. It's true that life throws sh_t at us and the way we react to it makes us who we are now. I want to be victorious.

I want to live again.

The First Step + Goals & Challenges for the Week

I wasn't able to post this last week because I got so busy. Anyway, I already made the first step - walking to and around Colinas Verdes. It was a great change because getting up early in the morning was quite difficult for me to do. I guess it was also a blessing that I received a call at 5am, making me get up and get going after the call ended.



It's been a while since I last walked that long, and I just have to say that my legs were hurting so bad! Still, I was thankful that I was able to endure it. One thing I realized though, is that I badly need a new pair of running shoes. The one I currently own is still in tip-top shape, but the length is just enough to fit my feet, so after an hour of walking, my big toes would feel slight pain. Hopefully there will be a sale happening soon, so I can purchase a new pair - big enough to allow my feet some breathing space.

I still haven't done any of the Hip Hop Abs routines because of my hectic schedule, but now that my body has already took the first step, I think I am very much ready to do the rest of the fitness things I have to do. Let's start losing weight! :)


This is the last week of November, so I will treat this week as as some sort of preparation for December. With the holidays coming in, there will be a lot of feasts and food trips, making this weight loss journey difficult. Well, with the rewards I plan to give myself, for sure I will work hard to achieve it.

For this week (26 November - 01 December), I listed 10 goals/challenges:

1. Walk to and around Colinas Verdes everyday, with pictures to back it up.
2. 2/3 cups of rice per meal. 
3. 3 cups of coffee for the entire week.
4. Drink 15+ cups of water everyday.
5. Finish Hip Hop Abs' "Hips, Buns, and Thighs" routine.
6. Clean the Closet. (Not really weight-loss related, I know...)
7. Eat at least 1 kind of vegetable everyday (potatoes not included)
8. Use the Elliptical Machine for at least 10minutes a day.
9. Continue with sharing the Beck Diet Solution.
10. Keep a Food Log (everyday has to have an update).

Biggest challenge would be #5, but I will do it. :)

Reward for the weekly challenges is nail polish, so if I can all these challenges, I will reward myself with 2 bottles of Nature Republic nail polish.

Will share my fitness/exercise schedule tomorrow.

A Fresh Start

Yes. I think all of us deserve a fresh start, and it is something that I am doing just now. I still am struggling taking that first step as I tend to just don't care about many things ("so what if I am fat" that sort of thing), but even if I have a lot of superficial reasons why I want to lose weight, main reason for me doing this is for my health. The time I was in La Union, I had a conversation with my diabetic aunt and she told me that one of my cousins is already having elevated blood sugar. He's still not diabetic, but they're monitoring his activities and food intake to prevent himself having the disease that seems too rule our family. This cousin of mine is very fit - he plays basketball when he has the chance, he's not fat at all, but I guess it has something to do with genetics and food he's eating. This conversation frightened and worried me a bit because I am obese with very minimal to no fitness program (since I stumbled a block) and is eating more than the usual. I am a very good candidate for diabetes, and I seriously don't want that. When I started losing weight last year, I told myself I will eat what I want to eat, but will minimize my portion. If I don't work and eventually get diabetes, that means I would have to give up a lot of food, and that would be depressing. :)

Like what I have said, I do have a lot of superficial reasons why I am starting again. I already mentioned that two of my cousins are getting married early next year (one in January, one in February). Another reason is this possibility of my friend K traveling to the Philippines mid next year, and even if he's one person who doesn't really care if I am thin or fat, I just want to have this sense of change in my body when we go on a holiday again. It's been two years since he last traveled here, I don't want him to see that nothing has changed in the last two years despite my attempts.


As for motivation, I finally found the dress! When I started this blog, I have wanted to share this dress. Inspired by a tradition in the TV Series "The Biggest Loser," I wanted to wear this dress when I hit my goal weight of 150lbs. I am not sure if that would fit me when I reach that weight, but I really want to wear this dress! This is my sister's, actually. She wore this maybe two or three times, then she didn't care much about the dress anymore (maybe because it shows quite a lot of breast meat). When she wore this the first time I have loved the dress, even complimented my sister looking so pretty wearing it. The picture on the right was taken by our late father. I don't know how much I weigh that time, and I also can't tell if I am the same size or I am fatter or thinner now. Anyway, I kept the dress now, and will take it out on Christmas next year. I will do my everything to make sure I will wear that dress when we celebrate Christmas 2013.



Yesterday, I weighed myself. Reading came out at 212lbs., which meant I gained 2 more pounds after my last trip. However, readings are quite inaccurate, as when I weighed myself this morning it read 210lbs. Now I don't know what my actual weight is, so let's just put it at 211lbs. :) I also measured myself, but I won't share the digits as I am still in denial of what I found out. I will just share them in months to come. :)

I might be starting again, but there won't be much changes in the routines as it was actually effective in helping me lose weight. I have now listed a schedule (which I think I have shared a few months ago) to distribute exercise routines, as I surely can't do it all at once. Gym is still something I hope to try, but maybe I will just do that come next year, to change up things.

Re-reading The Beck Diet Solution, I came across Day 4 lesson, "Give yourself a credit." Most of the money I have saved in my "credit account" has used up, and the remaining amount I kept in a "piggy bank." I don't intend to use it anymore (will consider it my own treasure) and will have a new one. :) What am I saving up for? A Mt. Pulag trip once I reach my goal weight. It has been a dream of mine and I figured it would be a very awesome gift for myself for all the work I did. That credit account will also be used to give myself rewards every time I lose 10lbs. These rewards aren't lavish and definitely not food related, but because I have already vowed not to shop for clothes, footwear, and bags 'til I reach 180lbs. (but allow me to buy myself a dress for Christmas), giving myself rewards for every 10lbs lost will be a great confidence and morale boost.

Right now, there is one thing that I am very fond of - nail polish. I am restricting myself to buy new bottles of nail polish as I still haven't used the nearly 10 bottles of nail polish I bought recently, so I will use this as some sort of reward as well. Every Sunday, I will post my 10 goals for the coming week, and if I do everything, I will reward myself with a bottle of nail polish. Just a bottle, because I only get to share my NOTW on my other blog every Saturdays, so no need to buy multiple bottles. It's a win-win situation, really... as if I want to feed my other blog with nail polish related posts, I have to do my goals for the week. If I missed one thing, no nail polish for me, and that would make my other blog sad. :)

Monday and Tuesday this week I used to contemplate - talking to myself and feed my mind the things I need to do. I know it sounds a little shallow, that all I have to do for this new beginning is to take the first step, but I don't want to reach a halt anymore, and with that I figured I gotta prepare my mental and emotional state as well. It is actually working - taking pictures of my motivations, writing my thoughts, re-reading my blog - so tomorrow I will take my first step. No actual amount of weight to lose this month (as it's 10 more days 'til the month ends); I just want to get going and see the changes as I go. Of course, I will update the weight come December 1.



Oh, just for fun...the other day I posted a picture of the 10 shirts/blouses I bought from not-so-distant past that I haven't worn yet. Well, I tried them on and about 7 still fits me because the fabric is stretchable, but no way will I wear these in my current body frame because it just hugged my body and shows every bulge and curves I have. I took these pictures above for a before-and-after post, coming by the first day of 2013.

Here's to a brand new start!