A Shower of Blessings

...because even if I was flat broke,
you made me feel like a million bucks.
- Brandi Carlile, "The Story"

Day 82
21 December 2011


Before I talk about the blessings, I have a confession to make: I really don't know how to handle a relationship. I have had several relationships in my life, but because most of them ended up in shambles and that those men never really loved me, there were times I hope there's a manual for relationship dummies like me.

Take for instance this situation: Mr. Pipoy calls me at 9pm while walking from their house to the gate of their subdivision - like he always do. To make sure he is safe, we won't talk (no calls/text) while he is traveling to work, and he would just call by the time he reaches the company's building and he would call again around 2:45am - during his break. The other night, he called me around 9pm, but a few minutes before 10pm, I received a message saying he would run from the jeepney stop to the building to catch up time and would just call me during his break. Break time came, he sent a text message saying he couldn't call because he was feeling sick and would just take the time to rest instead. He told me he would just call me by the time he's off at work. 7am, another text message came saying he couldn't call me because his UnliCall service expired and there were no stores open where he could purchase load credits for his phone. To his last message I responded "Ok." I received a call from him around 8am, while he was walking from the entrance of their subdivision and he told me he felt a little sad that I gave him a very cold "Ok" message and he was sort of expecting I'd ask about how he was feeling. I told him I felt a little sad, too, because I wasn't able to talk to him and I sort of felt he was distancing himself. I was quick to recognize my doubts and my negative thoughts and yep, I could be a little too self-centered at times. I easily feel bad when some thing won't go my way that I forgot the bigger picture (him being sick). Sorry for that, Mr. Pipoy. You know how much I care for you even if I don't tell or show it at times.

Anyway, I heard another wonderful message from the Korean soap opera "Scent of a Woman." It's in the Filipino language, but the jist of the story is that William fell in love with Helena and even broke off the arranged engagement just to be with her. But when he found out Helena has stage 4 gall bladder cancer, he got angry and broke up with Helena. Of course, he realized that he loves Helena so much and when he saw Helena crossing the road without minding the cars passing by, he quickly drove his car to save Helena. His car was hit and he had to be hospitalized.

In this scene, he told Helena, "After the accident, I realized there is a bigger possibility that I will die first. When that happens, I will regret why I didn't fight for my love."

I could relate this to what Pipoy told me a few weeks after I met him. He said, "I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any feelings I can show, any emotions I can share, any love I can give... let me not defer it, for I shall never pass this way again."

I am thankful that in my life, there is one Mr. Pipoy who loves me so much.


Okay... today I have two icky pimples! Well, I normally get pimples whenever I have my period, but it's just weird that I had the pimples near the end of my period - I usually have them before Bloody Mary drops by for a visit.

I wasn't able to exercise today because of my period and because I couldn't fit my feet into my shoes. The blisters on my Achilles' heels were too painful and the wounds would stick to the socks, I decided to just call it off and try again tomorrow.


What I ate -

• 8:20am - 1 piece sliced White bread (toasted) + thin spread of mayonnaise, 1 cup Nescafe Brown n' Creamy coffee
• 12:57pm - 2 pieces sliced White bread (toasted) + thin spread of Magnolia Lite Margarine, a handful of peanuts
• 6:22pm - 1/2 cup rice, Salmon Belly Sinigang (30g salmon belly with some cabbages cooked in sour broth), 1 slice of ripe Papaya
• 8:13pm - 1 Yakult

Total Cups of Water: 13

I wasn't really in the mood to eat lunch, but nearly 1pm, I already felt the hunger, so I just toasted some bread. Dinner was so delicious... I love salmon! If I can eat salmon once every week, I will be a happy foodie!

Blessings / gifts the family received today:

• 6 bottles of Datu Puti Pinoy Kurat spiced tuba vinegar. I was already expecting this since last week, but I sort of feared I might not receive it because of our location. Early this morning, the delivery man came by, and even if he traveled more than two hours to get to our place, he told me, "It's all good... I was able to joyride." Such a nice delivery man, really.
• A goodie bag from Rebisco. Mom received this, and even if most of the goodies I chose not to eat, the biscuits inside we can give to the carolers.
• Biko from Manang Lita. Manang Lita is one of my mom's friends and a very good cook. Mom said she dropped by her office to give her a bilao of Biko and some of it we gave to the neighbors because our family couldn't eat it all.
• Hearing the words "I love you."

One doesn't have to wait for Christmas to count gifts and blessings... blessings are around us everyday, we just have to open our eyes and see it.