13 January 2012
In some ways, Mr. Pipoy and I are okay already, in some ways, I could say it's not yet - because there is still this space that separates us - like when he called and there will be silence for a few seconds after the "hello."
He and I have had several arguments, but this, I think was the most difficult to resolve - normally, we would be back to normal after a few hours, but this one took us two days to finally clear up the dark clouds.
I asked him the question, "Am I becoming too much of a burden," and he answered, "Yes and No." He didn't explain why "yes," he just told me that I am not a burden because he loves me so much. Mr. Pipoy isn't the type of a person who would patronize (come to think of it, his first word to his response was "yes"), so I am do believe in what he said. Before calling it a night, he and I made an agreement, and finally, all is settled. Thank you, God!
So okay... I went back on track today. I got up early and went to Colinas Verdes to walk, and just so to give myself a fresh new start, I took a different route, still leading to the Clubhouse. There were quite a lot of people walking today, so I was able to pace myself. I didn't allow myself to have that "adjustment" period - as soon as I entered the gates of Colinas Verdes, I quickly upped my speed and went on to have a steady brisk walk for 45 minutes.
On my way back (U-Turning near the clubhouse), there was this one plump man trying to motivate himself to jog more and more. His breathing was heavy, he would let out a scream every five seconds or so, and I felt inspired. He was a very big guy, but he was trying so hard to keep his momentum, so I jogged with him - not near each other, of course - he was on the leftmost side of the lane, I was on the rightmost. In a way, it was like feeding each other with strength - my thinking was that, if he would see someone jogging with him, it would allow him to keep his momentum. I, on the other hand, is getting strength from him, because seeing him trying his hardest made me want to try as much. I jogged for 15 minutes nonstop, and it felt good.
Cooling down (I don't want to leave Colinas Verdes soaking in sweat), I got to see this moth coupling. Now... how was I able to notice this two itty bitty critters while walking along a very wide, open, space? Even I am amazed at times. Anyway, I also got to see a bird on a tree branch - too bad my cellphone couldn't capture it; will definitely take my camera next week so I won't miss good photography subjects.
Aside from walking for two hours, I also was able to do my Hip Hop Abs Cardio and Ab Sculpt. What a day, indeed!
Sadly, the food journal is still something I have to be serious at... but for breakfast, I had this corn, for lunch I think brother and I ate smoked fish, and for dinner, we had stir-fried veggies and Bistek. I didn't overeat today - both lunch and dinner had 1/2 cup of rice... and even if my tummy was churning (it wanted to empty itself), I decided to brush my teeth right after dinner, so I won't have to go to the toilet to vomit it out. I also asked brother to allow me to wash the dishes, just so I was doing something after dinner - it surely changed my focus.
Making a complete 360 degree turn was difficult, but I was able to cope up. I am a very blessed woman to have someone like Mr. Pipoy (well, my family didn't know about my psychological problem), who - even if quite far from me physically - never really left my side.
May this day be start of better days ahead.