Tuesday, November 20, 2012

A Fresh Start

Yes. I think all of us deserve a fresh start, and it is something that I am doing just now. I still am struggling taking that first step as I tend to just don't care about many things ("so what if I am fat" that sort of thing), but even if I have a lot of superficial reasons why I want to lose weight, main reason for me doing this is for my health. The time I was in La Union, I had a conversation with my diabetic aunt and she told me that one of my cousins is already having elevated blood sugar. He's still not diabetic, but they're monitoring his activities and food intake to prevent himself having the disease that seems too rule our family. This cousin of mine is very fit - he plays basketball when he has the chance, he's not fat at all, but I guess it has something to do with genetics and food he's eating. This conversation frightened and worried me a bit because I am obese with very minimal to no fitness program (since I stumbled a block) and is eating more than the usual. I am a very good candidate for diabetes, and I seriously don't want that. When I started losing weight last year, I told myself I will eat what I want to eat, but will minimize my portion. If I don't work and eventually get diabetes, that means I would have to give up a lot of food, and that would be depressing. :)

Like what I have said, I do have a lot of superficial reasons why I am starting again. I already mentioned that two of my cousins are getting married early next year (one in January, one in February). Another reason is this possibility of my friend K traveling to the Philippines mid next year, and even if he's one person who doesn't really care if I am thin or fat, I just want to have this sense of change in my body when we go on a holiday again. It's been two years since he last traveled here, I don't want him to see that nothing has changed in the last two years despite my attempts.

As for motivation, I finally found the dress! When I started this blog, I have wanted to share this dress. Inspired by a tradition in the TV Series "The Biggest Loser," I wanted to wear this dress when I hit my goal weight of 150lbs. I am not sure if that would fit me when I reach that weight, but I really want to wear this dress! This is my sister's, actually. She wore this maybe two or three times, then she didn't care much about the dress anymore (maybe because it shows quite a lot of breast meat). When she wore this the first time I have loved the dress, even complimented my sister looking so pretty wearing it. The picture on the right was taken by our late father. I don't know how much I weigh that time, and I also can't tell if I am the same size or I am fatter or thinner now. Anyway, I kept the dress now, and will take it out on Christmas next year. I will do my everything to make sure I will wear that dress when we celebrate Christmas 2013.

Yesterday, I weighed myself. Reading came out at 212lbs., which meant I gained 2 more pounds after my last trip. However, readings are quite inaccurate, as when I weighed myself this morning it read 210lbs. Now I don't know what my actual weight is, so let's just put it at 211lbs. :) I also measured myself, but I won't share the digits as I am still in denial of what I found out. I will just share them in months to come. :)

I might be starting again, but there won't be much changes in the routines as it was actually effective in helping me lose weight. I have now listed a schedule (which I think I have shared a few months ago) to distribute exercise routines, as I surely can't do it all at once. Gym is still something I hope to try, but maybe I will just do that come next year, to change up things.

Re-reading The Beck Diet Solution, I came across Day 4 lesson, "Give yourself a credit." Most of the money I have saved in my "credit account" has used up, and the remaining amount I kept in a "piggy bank." I don't intend to use it anymore (will consider it my own treasure) and will have a new one. :) What am I saving up for? A Mt. Pulag trip once I reach my goal weight. It has been a dream of mine and I figured it would be a very awesome gift for myself for all the work I did. That credit account will also be used to give myself rewards every time I lose 10lbs. These rewards aren't lavish and definitely not food related, but because I have already vowed not to shop for clothes, footwear, and bags 'til I reach 180lbs. (but allow me to buy myself a dress for Christmas), giving myself rewards for every 10lbs lost will be a great confidence and morale boost.

Right now, there is one thing that I am very fond of - nail polish. I am restricting myself to buy new bottles of nail polish as I still haven't used the nearly 10 bottles of nail polish I bought recently, so I will use this as some sort of reward as well. Every Sunday, I will post my 10 goals for the coming week, and if I do everything, I will reward myself with a bottle of nail polish. Just a bottle, because I only get to share my NOTW on my other blog every Saturdays, so no need to buy multiple bottles. It's a win-win situation, really... as if I want to feed my other blog with nail polish related posts, I have to do my goals for the week. If I missed one thing, no nail polish for me, and that would make my other blog sad. :)

Monday and Tuesday this week I used to contemplate - talking to myself and feed my mind the things I need to do. I know it sounds a little shallow, that all I have to do for this new beginning is to take the first step, but I don't want to reach a halt anymore, and with that I figured I gotta prepare my mental and emotional state as well. It is actually working - taking pictures of my motivations, writing my thoughts, re-reading my blog - so tomorrow I will take my first step. No actual amount of weight to lose this month (as it's 10 more days 'til the month ends); I just want to get going and see the changes as I go. Of course, I will update the weight come December 1.

Oh, just for fun...the other day I posted a picture of the 10 shirts/blouses I bought from not-so-distant past that I haven't worn yet. Well, I tried them on and about 7 still fits me because the fabric is stretchable, but no way will I wear these in my current body frame because it just hugged my body and shows every bulge and curves I have. I took these pictures above for a before-and-after post, coming by the first day of 2013.

Here's to a brand new start!


  1. Hi Jenn, I love your blog! I am also taking a fresh start this week and following the beck diet solution! I was googling about it and found your blog. You are very inspiring! I am also worried about diabetes (I have PCOS and reversed the pre-diabetes, but without weightloss, it may come back!).

    Anyway-- Thanks for sharing your journey and inspiring me!


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