Habit a Week 8: Love Yourself

This week's challenge is very interesting, but before that, a recap and some resolutions:

• #1: Fix Your Water Intake - Still 12 cups of water (at least) for each day this week, but because of some health concerns, I am planning to up my water intake this coming week.
• #2: Move! - This week has a been a great week for me as far as movements are concerned; I might not be able to do everything I wanted, but every day, I was able to move - either by walking, or doing my Hip Hop Abs routines, or both.
• #3: Eat a Veggie - I didn't eat beef and pork this week, so I relied mostly on veggies and fish for this week. Happy to have survived it.
• #4: Increase the Fiber - I still have concerns about my bowel movement; high-fiber diet seem to cause me constipation (which was weird because we know fiber help us poop more), so this coming week, I will try to combine a good intake of fiber and water. Hope it works.
• #5: Slow Down - This is not a problem for me anymore, thank heavens!
• #6: Eat Healthy Fats - Olive oil, lite margarine, and soya oil. I think I am doing good with this.
• #7: Watch Your Portions - I successfully followed my goal of eating 1/2 cup of rice as well as not go beyond 100g of protein for each meal, so I guess this habit has been firmly cemented. :)

Like I said, this week is one interesting week for Lyn's Habit-a-Week Challenge because it talks about Loving Oneself. For nearly two months now, I have been taking good care of myself - by eating right and exercising, but I admit loving myself is a work in progress. Sure, I love myself... which is why I am doing this, but there are times I do get insecure and I get upset or puzzled over some things I don't have.

For example, I don't get it why a woman (whose picture I saw online) who's 20lbs heavier than I am and whose waistline is 44 inches looks more stunning than I am. I told about this over the blue board - that if I put a picture of that woman and my picture (wearing underwear) side by side, and ask random people "who's sexier," people will surely pick the other woman over me. I guess one big factor is my tummy - how it look quite hideous being separated by my waistline as my upper and lower tummy looked like two lifesavers on top of each other. I don't get it why even if I have lost over 10lbs total, it still doesn't show that I lost weight. Yes, it's because my tummy is still big.

I also hate it that my upper arms are way too big - and that I now got flabby arms because of the weight I lost. I remember many years ago, when I once hoped to lose weight, my brother told me, "Don't aim to lose weight anymore, because when you do, you'd have a lot of loose skin that would make you uglier." Hmmm... uglier? Means I am already ugly from the get go? Hahahaha. Anyway, I shared this concern over Pipoy and he told me, "Just continue doing what you're doing. You're still young, you can still firm up and tone up. The important thing is, you reached your goal weight." That was a statement that has kept me hanging on.

Part of me don't understand some "Before and After transformations"- where one woman over 300lbs down to 170lbs looks stunningly beautiful - no flabs no loose skin, yet here I am, who lost a small amount of weight looks flabby and loose. I really think I should enroll myself in the gym so I can have access to machines to help me tone up. Oh money... where are you?

Still, even with flabby arms, thighs and divided tummy, I love myself. I may complain and compare...but I guess that's human nature because we cannot see our physical self the way we can see other people. Seeing myself naked in front of the mirror, seeing signs that I lost weight makes me feel happy. I admire myself for enduring the pain of doing exercises, because I know doing all of these will only benefit myself. This is my body, my welfare, my future... and the choices I make is all for myself. Whether I'd end up with loose skin the future, I know I am strong enough to face it and do something about it.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving (which was already over, I know...), allow me to share why I am thankful for myself:

• I am thankful that even if my legs look like a tree trunk, even if it looks gross because of my scars and cellulite, I was able to go places - even enduring a 700+ steps to the top of Mt. Tapyas in Palawan and a grueling 10kilometer hike to the crater of Mt. Pinatubo.
• I am thankful that even if my arms are flabby and that they're so big they are the same size as some skinny woman's thighs, I can still wear sleeveless shirts.
• I am thankful that even if my nose is flat, I can still smell the fresh scent of morning as well as the food I cook and eat.
• I am thankful that even if my tummy is big, I can still buy jeans and shorts at a Ready-to-Wear store.
• I am thankful that even if I am this big, I still wasn't hospitalized for any reason.
• I am thankful that even if I have PCOS, I was able to lose this weight.
• I am thankful that even if my I have limp, lifeless, thin, and falling hair, I can still comb and style it.
• I am thankful that even if I am 200+lbs (not for long, I tell you), there is someone out there who loves me and accepts me for who I am.

I am worth it.

This week's challenge is to set aside an ample time each day for oneself. My plans? Well, on a daily basis, I will make sure I give myself proper pampering: using good smelling bath gels or soaps, massaging as well as washing my legs and feet before sleeping, and a few seconds of being narcissistic: combing my hair, powdering my face, smile at myself, and say 'I love you' in front of the mirror. Once or twice a week, I'd give myself a manicure.

In the future, I'd like to do some things I haven't done yet: massage, a foot spa, a facial. I also now plan to go to the dentist to have some teeth cleaning and have a new pair of eyeglasses because the last time I visited the optometrist was in 2008. My eyeglasses may not be accurate now - it needs to retire.

They say our bodies are our temples. As much as I do many things to make sure my inner self is healthy and beautiful, I am also in the journey to make my outer self as much beautiful.

I am beautiful.
If others don't agree, that's not my problem anymore.

Pipoy's Version of the Insanity Workout

'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it...
- "S&M", Rihanna

Day 57


Although he doesn't comment on any of my blogs, Pipoy is an avid reader. He would share his comments through text and phone calls, and seeing my wish list (check the side panel), he told me he wanted to help me cross out as much items as quickly as possible.

First on his list were two fitness videos I am hoping to do: Jillian Michaels' "30 Day Shred" and Shaun T's "Insanity." He got himself a copy of "Insanity," and today we met up again just so he could show me how the workout was like.

However, Shaun T's workout was very intense that I told him I might have to wait before I reach 170lbs before I can do it because it was just freakin' difficult to do - even the people on the video doing the workouts were too tired doing the routines. My dear fitness buddy Pipoy then suggested we do a slightly much easier way - still putting the "Insanity" as the inspiration.

He showed me some routines I could follow - side steps, push ups, sit ups using the core as the leverage. It was intense... at least for me.

Putting his own workout to the test was fun, but difficult. Well, first rounds were okay, but as it builds momentum, it was getting more and more intense. Pipoy was with me all time - guiding me, teaching me the correct way to do it, and today I was on top of the world! The feeling of doing something I was afraid to do (because of my weight) made me doubt myself and my strength, but him with me kinda cushions the blow, as if he was carrying me. Seeing the world from the top can be both exhilarating and mind blowing... but the workout made my legs really tired! So tired it felt like jelly and taking a step felt wobbly.

Pipoy's workout may not be as intense as Shaun T's, but it was as insane.
...so insane that I love to do more of it.

Workouts can drain your strength, it will make your body ache... but it's the kind of pain that can give you satisfaction. I just am thankful I met Pipoy who doesn't just support me, he also helps me spread my wings and fly.

I love my fitness buddy!


After that intense workout, we went to Cubao... just so I could see the place again, and I asked him if we could pass by the Shoe Expo side just to take a picture of Bellini's facade. My write up about the restaurant will be shared in a few weeks, and because I wasn't able to take a picture of the facade then, I figured I'd take one now.


However, we didn't eat at Bellini's because their food is quite expensive... instead we ate at Pizza Hut in Ali Mall. Pipoy has been good to me - putting up with my sudden mood changes, putting up with my negative vibes (I still get a lot of it), even giving me rewards for pushing myself to get closer to my goal. The first time we met, he gave me this cable that I can use for my iPod and he gave me a whole lots of songs I can use as my soundtrack while walking; today he gave me not just one, but three rewards (will share it next time though). He is my biggest supporter and my number one fan, that I figured I'd treat him for lunch today - maybe as my peace offering for the many times I elevated his blood pressure, or may be as a way of giving back his kindness and generosity, or may be a way of rewarding him for being my willing fitness buddy.

This being my "cheat" day, he allowed me to eat pizza, but because it's Saturday and my challenge of not eating pork and processed meat is still up, I took out the meat off my pizza. I could have chosen the garden pizza, but the Super Supreme is my favorite Pizza Hut flavor because it had onions, bell peppers (yummy) and pineapples. The pizza had 6 slices, and because it was not equally sliced (two slices were so big and four were too little), I went for a slice of the little one. The pasta was Pipoy's choice; he asked me if I wanted the cream based one, but I told him I'd rather go for the pesto - basil and olive oil vs. cream and chicken, I guess we all know which was the better option. Eating out was part of one's fitness routine, and even if I had the privilege to go and be merry, Pipoy told me he was proud of me for making good choices. We shared the pasta, but he ate 60% of it, I only went for 40%, because the pizza was already enough to make me full.

Full list of food I ate for today:

• 5:57am - 1 piece of sliced white bread (toasted) + thin spread of lite margarine
• 1:52pm - 1 small slice of Super Supreme pan pizza (regular size) + pesto pasta + 1 glass of lemonade
• 7:23pm - 1/2 cup rice, 1/2 cup dinengdeng (diced sweet potatoes, bataw, malunggay, and patani cooked in boiling water seasoned with bagoong balayan), 50g fried bisugo fish

Mom cooked tonight's dinner and I was so happy to be eating dinengdeng again. I bought some tawilis at the market because I didn't know mom would go to the market as well (she already left when I arrived at home). It was nice to be eating dinengdeng again; I miss eating malunggay... I guess I should include it in my next meal plan.



ps - I inserted a quote from Rihanna's "S&M" song because when he first talked to me about the the songs he wanted me to listen to while walking / jogging, he somewhat knew I liked the beat of "S&M." While walking around Ali Mall, we were talking about the song (of course we knew what the song was about) and entering a sports shop, the song was playing in the background. :)

Hooray for Morning Walk

Day 56


I finally was able to do my morning walk today because even if it was cloudy, it wasn't really raining. Only difference was... I forgot to bring my wallet so I had no choice but to walk today. Well, what I do before was to walk to and around Colinas Verdes, then take the jeep from there to the marketplace then walk until I reach home, because of the pollution. It was the start of the rush hour... far too many vehicles on the road - some of which emit dark smoke, so walking can be health threatening in a way. I was glad that I was able to endure walking for more than 2 hours today - truly, we are strong when we had no choice but to be strong.

I can say I am perfectly fine now - Bloody Mary has already left, so next week, I can finally modify my exercises. I will talk more about that later (on a different post). This day, too, I was able to do my Hip Hop Abs routines. Late in the afternoon, I walked to the market to buy ingredients for dinner.


Walking that morning made me tired, and because I wasn't able to buy something for lunch, I was not in the mood to the market just to buy something for lunch. Seeing the chicken breast in the freezer, I decided to cook it as my lunch, but because the breast is my most hated chicken part... eating it was a challenge for me since it was the only chicken part I am allowed to eat this week. I just then fried it and added teriyaki sauce and sprinkled some McCormick adobo twist seasoning, and I had an awesome lunch.

My complete food intake for today:

• 8:15am - 2 pieces sliced White loaf bread + thin spread of Chiz Whiz (burger flavor)
• 12:04pm - 1/2 cup rice, Fried chicken pieces (70g chicken breast - breaded with McCormick Buffalo Mix + 1 tablespoon Teriyaki Sauce)
• 6:53pm - 1/2 cup rice, Fish Balls (100g galunggong fish - boiled and flaked; mixed with minced onions & garlic, cornstarch, salt & pepper; fried using soya oil), 1/2 cup steamed vegetables (cut up bok choy, sayote, carrots, cabbage)

I was alone that dinner. Mom was with friends, brother attended a blog event, and sister was at work. Eating alone can sabotage one's diet, but I was thankful that I stayed true to my mission. I was tempted to buy sorts of food, but I was glad that I got to see some beautiful galunggong at the market that reminded me that I was craving for fish balls. I guess dieting is no longer a problem for me, I am in total control of my diet.

I do hope soon, I can be a lot stricter when it comes to exercising, even if I am doing what I needed to do, I feel I am not exerting a lot of effort. Walking + 2 Hip Hop Abs routines just don't feel enough for me.